Days Like These
by CBloom2
Summary: Another angsty morsel for our boys. Caring Cal (coz I can't get enough it) looking out for his brother. Hope you like it.


**Another story! Got to love the Easter break! I have to own up to this one being a bit of a cheat - I'm using the idea from one of my older stories from another fandom and putting Ethan and Cal into it.**

**Of course it's going to be angsty (possibly with tears) not to mention the dramatic licence that I like to throw around, but hey, that's what I do!**

**Usual disclaimer - they belong to the BBC.**

**Days Like These**

Cal was becoming agitated. He looked at the clock. Where was Ethan? He'd been gone for nearly two hours now...he only went out to fetch a pizza that they had ordered. He huffed impatiently, grabbing the tv remote and randomly flicked through the stations in the vain hope that the nagging feeling of anxiety that had just started to make itself known was for nothing.

After another half a hour had passed, Cal decided that he couldn't sit there any longer, so he jumped up, grabbed his car keys and was in the process of slinging on his jacket when he heard the key in the door. Cal shook off his jacket and sunk back into the sofa as if to make out that he wasn't about to tear the place apart looking for his brother, "Did you have to make the pizza yourself? Nearly started eating my own hand here!" Cal joked, but any other jokes he wanted to make immediately died on his lips as he took in his brother's appearance.

Ethan was soaking wet, literally dripping. His blonde hair was plastered against his head and his clothes hadn't fared much better. His shirt was plastered to his body and he was missing his jacket and glasses.

"Ethan?" Cal enquired tentatively.

Ethan looked at him as if surprised to see him there. He opened the fridge door, "I need a drink," he ground out as he grabbed a bottle of beer. Cal followed him cautiously, concerned by his brother's behaviour. Ethan was well known for having his moments but this type of thing was totally out of character for him. Ethan was now trying to get the cap off the beer, but his hands were shaking so badly that Cal took it from him and opened it for him.

"Are you ok?" Cal asked even though it was obvious that he wasn't.

"Hmmm" was Ethan said, as he downed half the bottle of beer in one foul swoop.

Cal reached out and touched his brother's sodden arm, "Ethan you're soaking wet..."

"It's raining..." the younger man whispered.

"You need to go and get dried and warm up a little before you catch your death..." Cal stopped as he saw Ethan flinch at the word 'death'. It was now starting to become a little bit clearer to Cal - something had obviously happened while he was out, something beyond his control.

"Erm, yes...a shower," Ethan finished the beer and began to stagger out of the room. Cal put out a hand to help steady him but he battered it away.

"Shall I order some more food then?" Cal asked.

Ethan turned to look at him as if he had asked him to poke his own eyes out, "Yes,whatever...do what you want."

About thirty minutes later, the pizza arrived (from a different take away place), "Pizza's here!" Cal called loudly, knowing that the shower had been turned off a good ten minutes ago. Cal half expected Ethan to come out of the bathroom still in his soaking wet clothes, but the bathroom door opened to reveal a lot fresher and dry looking Ethan.

"Grub's up," Cal told him in a light tone. His little brother took one look at the pizza and whatever colour was in his face disappeared dramatically. Ethan shook his head and went to sit on the sofa. Cal sighed deeply as he covered the food. He went to sit beside his brother and offered him another beer, "Ok spill," he told his brother.

Ethan's haggared face looked puzzled, "There's nothing going on, I'm fine," he replied, looking anything but fine.

"Ethan come on, don't take me for a fool. You're anything but fine...talk to me."

Ethan seemed to deflate right in front of him as he ran a trembling hand through his now dry hair, "There was a car accident ... on the way to the pizza place..."

Cal straightened up in surprise, "An accident, are you ok? Were you hurt?" His mind immediately flashed back to the crash that half the ED were involved in not so many months ago.

"I wasn't involved in the crash, I was a few cars behind it. A dog or something ran out into the road - a car skidded on the wet road and crashed into a wall. I got to the car - the door was hanging off and I saw a little girl - she couldn't have been more than six or seven, half hanging out still in her seatbelt..."

Cal found himself shuffling nearer to his brother, eventually sitting on the coffee table in front of the younger man so that he could get a better view of him, his stomach churning with dread.

"I thought she was gone Cal - she was so still. I know I shouldn't have moved her, but I could smell petrol, so I didn't have any choice..." Ethan looked up at his brother who nodded in confirmation, "Then she made a noise..."

Cal blew out a breath that he hadn't realised he had been holding, relieved that the little girl had made it, but looking at his still shell shocked brother, he got a sense that the story wasn't going to end well.

Cal could see that Ethan was starting to shut down. His gaze wasn't focused on anything, so he got into Ethan's line of vision to refocus him, "What else Ethan?"

"She started crying for her mummy, so once I got her settled with someone I went round to the drivers side...then I just stopped," he hiccuped as he remembered what he had done, "I just kept thinking 'was this how it was for me?' - I've basically blocked out the crash but seeing that woman..." His eyes began to fill. Cal placed his hands on his brother's knees to bring him back, his own eyes filling with the memory of the day he nearly lost his brother. When he felt Cal's hands, Ethan finally looked at him, "I tried to get her out but she was trapped. I knew it didn't look good, but we'd had worse in the ED - I knew I could treat her. The fire crews arrived and got her out. All she wanted to know was if her daughter was alright."

A single tear tracked down the young doctors face as he took a deep breath - Cal readied himself for what was to come, "They got her out - I told her where her daughter was and that she would be ok. She turned her head to look for her daughter - she smiled...and then...she was gone. She just died Cal! I spent, well I don't know how long I spent, performing CPR on her - the paramedics wanted to take her away, said it was to late," once more Ethan ran a trembling hand through his hair, "I told them I was a doctor. I screamed at them...but she was still dead. That little girl is without her mother now...because I couldn't save her!" The dam that was holding his emotion at bay broke, "They said that I'd done everything that I could...but if I had done, she'd still be alive...Jeff would still be alive..."

Cal felt his heart break for his caring little brother. All Ethan had ever wanted to do was be a doctor, to save lives and he always felt every death keenly, but this seemed to have hit him harder...and the mention of Jeff...

Cal closed his eyes for a second trying to control his own emotions. All he could see was Ethan knelt in the pouring rain, desperatly trying to save this young woman. Then a vision of his brother laid out in Resus assaulted his brain making him shudder .

The sound of Ethan trying to draw a breath through his tears dragged Cal's attention back to his distraught brother. Without hesitation he leaned forward and pulled Ethan into a strong embrace. Ethan dropped his head onto Cal's shoulder as the tears fell unchecked, "Shh, it's going to be ok little brother," Cal whispered, "It sounds to me like that poor woman was dead as soon as the car hit the wall - there was nothing you could've done any differently. You saved the little girl though," he tried to comfort.

"I'm a doctor Cal," Ethan's strangled sobs pulled at Cal.

The older brother rubbed comforting circles on the younger man's back, "Yes you are Eth - and a bloody good one, and don't you forget it. I remember you saying to me not so long ago, that we all get days like these and we just have to find a way to cope - it's not easy but it's what we have to do. You're an amazing doctor and an amazing person Ethan and don't ever forget it," Cal finished as Ethan managed to draw in a deep breath to gain control over the emotion.

He lifted his head, giving his brother a half hearted smile, "Don't get used to it little brother, " Cal joked.

Ethan wiped his face with his hands, then wiped his hands on his trousers, "I'm sorry for the waterworks Cal, it's just..."

Cal held up a hand, "No need to apologise Ethan, really - if you can't talk to me, then who can you talk to?"

Ethan nodded his head, "Still seems a bit strange though doesn't it? Me and you able to care and share."

Cal chuckled, "Well I wouldn't quite put it like that, but to be honest, yes it does...but I'm glad we can," he finished as he patted Ethan's knee.

Ethan got to his feet after he announced that he was going to bed, "I need to explain to the take away place..." he remembered as he saw the pizza on the side.

"Don't worry about it - I'm sure they managed to offload our order."

Ethan nodded as he slowly left the room, not noticing that a few tears had fallen down his brother's face once more.

About a hour later, Cal decided to call it a night too. As he made his way to his bedroom, he couldn't help himself. He gently opened Ethan's door to see his younger brother curled up in a ball, covers all over the place. As he got closer to him, he could see that Ethan wasn't sleeping peacefully and that a few fresher tears lingered on his young face. He gently pulled a cover over him, the movement causing Ethan to stir, "Shhh, it's just me, you're ok," he whispered as he placed the cover over him and quite out of character for him, stroked his hair until he relaxed once more.

When he was certain that Ethan was asleep once more, Cal left him to his well earned rest.

**Ending not so brilliant, but I hope the story was ok.**


End file.
